Motivation

Suggested listening:

When I am in the sea I seldom focus on the people there. For obvious reasons. There everything happens at the rythm of the waves, of the sets of waves and of the tides. Its not about people there. People are the aliens in there. For that reason, and because of a couple more reasons that I will illustrate here, I rarely give advice to anyone there. Despite having lost count of the time I spent there.
One day the setting was inviting some sort of meditation. Small waves. Long wait between sets. Many people there learning the job. I spent some time waching them. After all this time it is straightforward to spot what’s going on in the people’s minds there, in general and most particularly if they are below a more or less arbitray degree of proficiency. You see the ones that are confident. Or uneasy. Or affraid. Or angry. Or whatever. The body posture, the face, the positioning in the lineup and on the board. They don’t lie.
There was a person there who stood much time still, hands grabbing the board, nervously looking at the horizon, each wave a decision proof. The decision fled away into perceived safety everytime.
At some point I focused on the coming set, after a thought I told her – this wave is going to be a good one.
She looked at me apparently making sure I was talking to her, then looked at the wave summoning in her direction.
She looks again at me, this time her eyes were lit up in confidence, she positions herself with the most hardworking focused posture – the complete opposite of a minute before – and starts to paddle. I thought to myself ‘not sure how this is going to end but let us see’.
She stood up and glided the wave.
I felt relief because it proved my assessment of the situation, despite knowing fully well how easy it is by now for me to anticipate the behavior of a coming wave. She then thanked me and I got on with my usual affairs.
There are these two things, at least, to take into account when you want to motivate someone.

• did you assess the goal you are motivating people into?
• did you assess the circumstances of the people you are addressing?

My bet here was in the match between the situation and the person. If your advice fails to bear fruit, won’t it erode confidence in others? Can you really motivate someone without that knowledge? Without it, motivationals are just… empty words.

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This article was originaly posted on LinkedIn at March 2, 2019.